The Circle of Life, on birth, marriage and death – August 17, 2012

She wept openly, sobbing uncontrollably, chest heaving, breath ragged and staccato. She wept loudly, wailed, for her cousin who died of AIDS. Moments before she told me in words, “Mon cousin, il est mort. Il est mort de SIDA.” Those were words I understood. My French has improved, but I would have known SIDA anyway. It is likely the most prevalent disease on the African continent, probably killing more people than all the other diseases like malaria and symptoms like starvation and malnutrition combined.

I have wailed like that for loved ones lost so I know the feeling. Only twice in my life have I mourned like that, thank God. It was heart-wrenching to hear a grown woman, only 1 year older than me, cry like that. Death is real. It happens here in the Congo as it does anywhere else. It still affects people as it does anywhere else. I can only guess from her cries that Nanette was close
to her cousin or the realization that AIDS has taken another life or mourning the situation in Congo as dire. I don’t know what she was thinking, I didn’t ask, my mind now reels with imaginings.

Earlier that day, on my walk back from the ‘Salles de Exposition’, I came upon a funeral. It was a large funeral under a big tent in a space just off the main road, Vingt-quatre (No. 24 Boulevard is called “24” in French). There was music and tears, crying and laughter. I stayed for only a few minutes as I wasn’t invited and watched the women singing, some were singing through tears, wiping their faces as they swayed. It was sad and at the same time beautiful. There were a couple hundred people there.

At dinner later that night, the Sisters talked about the prospects and futures for the girls, especially those who are “aging-out” of their system of care. Once your studies are finished and you’ve passed your examinations, the “jury”, there is an expectation that you will either marry, or work or both, but there is a need for the young people to move out to make room for the younger students.

They were saddened that for many of the girls the chance that they would become pregnant quickly and begin the cycle all over again was very high. Funnily, Sr. Hildegard commented that the feistiest girls, the ones who give them the most trouble are the ones who are okay, they are productive and working and have found suitable husbands. Whereas she mourned the loss of the one who was gentle and easy going and didn’t give any trouble, that one has already had children
with no one to take care of her or them.

In one day, I experienced the emotional rollercoaster from death, birth and marriage. The circle of life is all I could think of and to ease my mind and my spirit and to stop myself from crying all the time, I sang the Disney song in my head – The Circle of Life. It seemed fitting.